When I started this blog I knew it was going to be hard for me to keep at it. I think I've done fairly well, for me anyway, at adding new posts at reasonable intervals. I've worried that they are boring and there hasn't been enough project progress, especially lately as creating has taken a bit of a back seat whilst I expend my energies elsewhere. I try to do the things I've read about that bloggers are supposed to do like not write too much in one blog. Always add at least one photo, but not too many. Maintain some kind of continuity, try to be fun and light hearted and...and...and...
I thought that I needed to keep the blog focused on sewing and crafting projects and build the Purfylle 'brand' and that I should keep the rest of my life, especially the embarrassing bits, out of my blog. I mean who wants to hear about the mess in my house that stops me from taking progress photos because I have to clear stuff up to take photos and besides I'm too embarrassed to show you all that mess anyway.
There is a story about the mess, a really long boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that, and if they do they'll probably just judge me for being a lazy slob. What's more if anybody hears about the mess they won't be interested in my stuff, and promoting my stuff was the whole point of the blog. But I'm not making enough stuff to sell anyway and I'm not getting it up for sale because I can't take photos of it and neither are happening because of the mess and all of this hit me as being a huge obstacle that I MUST address if I ever want to be able to focus on creating things or even just feeling good about my own living space.
I started fixing this problem. It was OVERWHELMING. I didn't know where to start and I would argue with myself that I should do this first before I did that, and blah blah blah, but in the end I just agreed with myself to do something, anything. Doing something equalled progress and that was where I started. It's been an ongoing mission for a long time now, and this year I've been very focused on making this happen. A couple of weeks ago I blogged about some of the things I've learnt along the way.
To help me stay motivated I read decluttering blogs. The more I declutter the more I love my space and find it easier to be honest with myself about my stuff and my habits. The more I'm honest with myself the easier it is for me to be honest publicly, to you my almost non-existent readers, (the few of you that have started to follow me on G+ I may just scare off with this post, because I know you are clean tidy people, I mean you must be, most of you are lace makers and lace makers by definition are meticulous, right?) One of my blog goals was to be honest with my readers as well as myself. And I really am trying to be done with believing my own excuses.
I know some family members and my best friend read my blog but they will love me anyway and if my blog bores them they are under no obligation to read it. I haven't shared my blog with the rest of the people I know yet. Why not? Well, because I'm worried they'll judge me as not having done enough, well enough, or that my blog is boring and a million other stupid things that are probably quite normal feelings for a new blogger.
Yesterday I had a huge cleaning day in anticipation of family visiting from interstate. I made amazing progress in making the house more liveable and the reason I could accomplish this was because of all the purging of stuff I've been doing. Every time I needed to stop for a bit from the cleaning and furniture moving and have a cool refreshing drink or nice cup of tea, (this is a new thing I now give myself permission to do - stop and have a cup of tea! I'll be more productive if I take that break then if I don't, but I digress - I'm good at that) every time I stopped I would read about decluttering for some inspiration. I found the most inspiring decluttering blog ever. Why did I find it inspiring? Well because this was not a clean freak telling me, someone who struggles to prioritise cleaning over crafting, how to be a clean freak, but a normal human being who also struggles with keeping on top of all the mess and all the stuff. In fact I bet Nony from 'A Slob Comes Clean' would laugh if she saw me call her a 'normal human being' because...well go and read her blog and you will see what she thinks 'normal people' are like. This amazing woman is so courageous to put herself out there and tell the world about her 'stuff' problem. So much of what she says resonates with me and gives me courage to just be honest with myself and with you.
I've realised that I love to read blogs that are about real world experiences by real human beings and how they've dealt with the real stuff instead of all that 'perfect' stuff that I see in sooo many blogs. Perfect projects with perfect outcomes and perfect equipment and materials, perfect lives and perfect success. I hate those perfect blogs. I feel like a failure next to them. I know they're showing the highlights, I know that it isn't all roses and perfection and they DO inspire me to strive for perfection because there is nothing at all wrong with striving for perfection, but I am also trying to be satisfied with 'it works' and working is wonderful. I also know that a lot of 'creative' types struggle with dealing with all their stuff and their failures and are just as shy about being forward about it as I am, that they might actually want to read about it as much I like to.
So if you've been able to follow me so far with this post which jumps around a bit and if you're still reading it you might like to know what this mean for me and the blog?
It means I'm not going to be limited by blogging guidelines.
I will write long posts if I feel like it.
I won't add a photo if I don't feel like it.
I will add unedited non-perfect photos if it helps to get a blog posted rather then waiting for that photo.
I will write about stuff that is not just about sewing and crafting.
I don't really know what will happen with this blog... it's going to be an adventure! And maybe, just maybe someone out there might enjoy reading about my adventure too.
Now for the scary bit, hitting 'publish'.
Well, I wrote this post yesterday. Today I still haven't hit 'publish'. This is fairly standard practice for me because every time I publish a post and then come back to it later it is full of spelling mistakes, typos, bad spacing and little things that a fresh eye can fix, and even then I miss stuff, but at least it's better then it was. But that is not the only reason I haven't published this post yet. This post signifies a big change in how I present 'Purfylle' to the world and that's pretty scary.
Like heart racing, skin tingling, breath holding scary.
But yesterday I felt so liberated after I wrote this post. Everything I know about blogging (which isn't much to be honest) is screaming at me that what I'm writing right now should be a separate post, that I'm breaking the rules, posts shouldn't be this long. This post is already a saga and doesn't need a humongous footnote, and I've barely even started writing it. So I will endeavour to keep it reasonably to the point and not digress too much.
At some point I will write an indepth post about the meaning and history of the word purfylle. To purfil/purfyl/purfylle; Is purfylled/purfilled. But the simple explanation is that purfylle means to embellish. In costuming terms, to me that means adding all the trims and embroideries and pretty details.
Bare with me...I'm getting to the point.
So a blog name that means 'embellish' seemed just right to me for a costume blog. But then life happens and costuming doesn't and we all know how that goes. Then I wrote this post and got to thinking about what it means for my blog if I actually go ahead and publish this post, how does the name 'Purfylle' fit into this new concept of a blog where the content isn't restricted by costume and crafting projects? How do things like purging my stuff fit in with 'embellish'? Well it might be obvious, but it took me a while to realise that it embellishes my life. It allows me to embellish my creativity because it's not bogged down with 'all the stuff' any more. It embellishes the blog because I can share all the things that are a part of what makes up my creative process and why, as well obstacles that stop the creative process, and anything else that enriches life.
So I guess this blog is still about purfylling, but it's about my quest to purfylle life as well as costumes. And who doesn't want their life embellished?