( for best effect continue to read in that over excited 'this is so brilliant you won't believe it' infomercial voice-over tone )
This stylish toasting machine promises it all!Brimming with great features:
- lift and look,
- a little bit more; and
- toast 2 slices of long loaf at once!
So how does it work? You won't believe your eyes!
No. You are not seeing things!
Yes, viewers! That really is burnt-on-one-half and completely-untoasted-on-the-other, not-really-toasted
You will be thrilled with this one of a kind, never seen before, inedible Bread-Art Machine! That's right, you too can have your very own inedible bread-art in the comfort of your home.
Wow your house guests this Christmas when you serve them up bread-and-charcoal Bread-Art with the fangdangled fancy Bread-Art Machine!
So what would you expect to pay for this one of a kind Bread-Art Machine? As much as your standard supermarket 2 slice toaster? As much as a single slice long loaf toaster? No! It will be more! This is a 2 slice long loaf Bread-Art Machine and they are expensive!
But that's not all!
If you are not completely satisfied or wish to contact the manufacturer for any reason you need only provide the make and model number and the most detailed information imaginable,
Nothing could be easier!
But of course we know you won't actually make it through all of the drop down selections and fill in every bit of our online form to our satisfaction before you give up. That is why we also offer for you to contact us by last century methods - telephone and snail mail!
Order NOW before this incredible never to be repeated offer runs out.
Disclaimer: Make and model number are not listed on the actual Bread-Art Maker. You can trust our brilliant information security 100% and rest assured we have no intention of sending you targeted advertising just because we have your information. All charges associated with snail mail and telephone contact methods are at the users expense and will not be reimbursed by the Bread-Art Machine manufacturer, sellers or advertisers.
So my dear reader, I have a question for you. Do you love your toaster? I could really use some advice on a new one....
I guess this one counts as clutter. Actual Disclaimer. This is a satire piece, the bread art machine is not a real product but the bread and charcoal experience is really what happened when I tried to make toast.